s'experiment

The bottom half of my body is alive!

I had to shave a stripe down my left leg to get a tattoo on it, but the place where I shaved my forearm for a previous tattoo had not grown back evenly, so I shaved my whole leg to avoid the annoying tuft of hair I had on my arm.

I rather liked the way my naked and tattooed left leg looked, all smooth and shiny from the lotion I keep on it to help the tattoo heal and to moisturize my whole leg, so the other day, I decided to shave my right leg. And while I was at it -- because I didn't know where to stop -- I shaved all the hair off of my body, all of it, including my torso, arms and pits. All of it that I could reach comfortably with the electric shaver. I didn't use the Mach III Turbo and shaving cream because that would be a lot more annoying when it started growing back in.

I'm not so crazy about the way my torso and arms look, but that's okay, it'll grow back, and I'm not trying to impress anybody with my prepubescent look. But I do like the look of my shiny stubbled legs!

It struck me during the process that I was doing some kind of an alteration to my body to coincide with my year of celibacy. Like wearing a hair suit or flogging myself the way a devout religious person might be drawn to do.

My sexual thoughts have not subsided so far, and who knows if they will at all, or if they will completely. It's not like I've had a very active sex life over the past couple of years. Other than masturbation. I am attempting to give even that part of my sexual expression a break during this experiment. Masturbation isn't always so much of a sexual expression; sometimes it has served merely as a release, a relaxant. I wouldn't hesitate before taking a few moments to jerk off and cum if I felt tense, or bored, pretty much daily. But most of that time it was accompanied by looking at porn on the web. That obsessive part of my sexuality is something I'm trying to get past.

I imagine I could probably look at porn without masturbating, but I think that would defeat my greater purpose. I'm not trying to push myself to the limits to see what I can overcome, I'm just trying to move beyond the constant need for something that never really satisfies completely. So I deleted the bookmark folder labeled "Entertainment" and I am aiming to move past the urges to satisfy myself in this way.

And now I'm aware of my body like never before, the pendulous swinging between my legs, the busy testicles heavy with semen ready for the next blast. Will this subside? Will I get over it? If I make it through this year ahead of me, will I be ready to get off, or will I not even care anymore?

I'm curious to discover what kind of shift(s) will take place in my body and mind. Will my brain feel as alive as my crotch does right now?