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Cutie at the gym tonight. I've seen him there before, once or twice. I thought he was the young friend of the rich guy in the fancy house next to the little East Nashville post office. I saw him and a guy who looked a lot like this cutie at the Merce Cunningham dance performance. He was wearing what someone pointed out was a Commes des Garçon suit which was kind of a joke - completely unfinished, with the laundry pencil marks on it where it should be cut out and pieced together, and without finished hems anywhere.
A couple days later I think I saw this guy at the Y, he said hi. More recently, I thought I saw him again, and he had bleached a sprig of hair in the front. I don't guess they were the same guy.
The cutie I saw tonight was the one with the bleached sprig. I was coming in from working out, he was coming out of the shower, toweling off. We looked at each other across the room, our eyes meeting over the tops of the lockers. We were both at end lockers, with four or five rows were between us. He smiled big at me, watched me undress and wrap a towel around me. I walked directly to him, said, "What was your name?"
He said, "M. Have we met before?"
I mentioned the dance, the house, A, the friend of his. None of it sounded familiar to him. I said, "So I guess we haven't met before!"
He said, "M."
I said, "JDJB."
He asked to see the tattoo on my arm: JH in a small blue box. He said, "Oh, from across the room I thought it was a blue dot." He pointed to the blue dot tattooed on his arm, "And I was gonna be like that's just too wild!"
He face was soft, young. His facial hair made a sparse design on his face. A real cutie. He held my gaze and smiled into me, and I returned the experience as best I could.
I went toward the steam room, but didn't have my shave kit or fresh towel. I retrieved them and walked past him again. I mumbled a line to him as I passed.
He said, "Pardon?"
I said, "You made me forget all my stuff!"
He said, "Oh-ho!"
I did my stretches in the steam room, shaved, showered, hot then cold. It's getting easier to be focused on the task at hand and not getting caught up in looking at all the nakedness. I think meditation is doing me good. What would happen if I did it every day instead of just Sundays?!
As I left the building, I had to walk through the workout area. M was finishing up on a treadmill. I walked over to him, holding my canvas bag and sweaty gym clothes over one shoulder. I started to talk, but stopped myself when I saw him taking out an earphone.
"Pardon?"
I said, "You shower before you work out?!"
He said, "Yeah, sometimes...!"
It would've been funny and light if I'd say, "I was thinking I'd never see you again!" But I didn't think of that till I was down the road. It's probably best I didn't say much more at all. Better to look uncomfortable than obnoxious, I think!
I told him to have a good night, he chuckled and told me to do the same. Then I left him there. He was on the far inside treadmill, so I had a while to recompose myself before our eyes met again. I turned and saw him looking up after me by his reflection in the wall of mirrors surrounding us. I was behind a column. I wonder if he knew I was looking. Probably better not to make a big deal out of it!
Cu-tie!
6:47 pm.
