I don't know -- O.K., it's 5:30 p.m.I just went and got my phone because I just left a message for A -- I said, "Call me!" and then I came ouside and didn't bring my phone.
I'm bundled up like I'm on the North Pole or something. It's cold but not that cold. It's hard to write and smoke with gloves on, and I don't even know where any gloves are. Maybe it'll feel warmer now when I go back inside. R keeps the thermostat at 66ยบ and it's a pretty drafty house; I'm almost always cold. My extremities are, anyway.
I'm feeling unsettled. I guess that's why I'm smoking. I haven't smoked in a long time, and I didn't have a craving for a cigarette, but I thought it might do something about my unsettled feeling. Or maybe I'm sick. I still have diarrhea. For 15 days now. I took the medicine and ate bland foods for a couple of days and then I went to the doctor and my symptoms had cleared up, so I left and ate Indian food and they came back. But I've been--
The phone just rang and I lost my train of thought.
I think I feel unsettled about my "relationship" with R, whatever this is. I'm feeling lonesome I guess. I have been spending some time with E and I enjoy that, but I have to keep my emotions in check around him.
I thought that was A on the phone but it was JV. I went over to his apt. last night and watched a bunch of shorts (including S.A.L.L.I. and the Y'all music video), a lot of stuff he did with his friends who are down from NYC. I called today in hopes of doing something with them tonight, but now I'm wondering if I shouldn't stay home and transcribe. I have six tapes to do by Monday. But I wonder if I'll really do them, or just find other things to occupy my unsettled mind.
I smoked the dregs from my pipe and I've got a little buzz now, but I also feel nauseous. I don't know what's up with me. And in the midst of all this, I wrote another song for the play today.
I'm all over the place. I think I'll listen to JV's message and see how that makes me feel.
I'm bundled up like I'm on the North Pole or something. It's cold but not that cold. It's hard to write and smoke with gloves on, and I don't even know where any gloves are. Maybe it'll feel warmer now when I go back inside. R keeps the thermostat at 66ยบ and it's a pretty drafty house; I'm almost always cold. My extremities are, anyway.
I'm feeling unsettled. I guess that's why I'm smoking. I haven't smoked in a long time, and I didn't have a craving for a cigarette, but I thought it might do something about my unsettled feeling. Or maybe I'm sick. I still have diarrhea. For 15 days now. I took the medicine and ate bland foods for a couple of days and then I went to the doctor and my symptoms had cleared up, so I left and ate Indian food and they came back. But I've been--
The phone just rang and I lost my train of thought.
I think I feel unsettled about my "relationship" with R, whatever this is. I'm feeling lonesome I guess. I have been spending some time with E and I enjoy that, but I have to keep my emotions in check around him.
I thought that was A on the phone but it was JV. I went over to his apt. last night and watched a bunch of shorts (including S.A.L.L.I. and the Y'all music video), a lot of stuff he did with his friends who are down from NYC. I called today in hopes of doing something with them tonight, but now I'm wondering if I shouldn't stay home and transcribe. I have six tapes to do by Monday. But I wonder if I'll really do them, or just find other things to occupy my unsettled mind.
I smoked the dregs from my pipe and I've got a little buzz now, but I also feel nauseous. I don't know what's up with me. And in the midst of all this, I wrote another song for the play today.
I'm all over the place. I think I'll listen to JV's message and see how that makes me feel.
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