more mona

The common critique on chapter two among the people at the writer's group was that the first three pages were confusing. It is a whirlwind of information: Randy is born while his mother is masturbating, his 13-year-old half-sister is next door giving the neighbor guy (whose "old lady" is Randy and Rona's mother Mona's best friend) a hand job, etc. Most everybody seemed to agree that the story settled in at the top of page four.

The most useful thought in the group came from M1,* who said that perhaps the first three pages are a chapter that needs to be fleshed out, and that page four onward is a complete chapter on its own.

I woke up this morning with Mona on my mind, with a laundry list of descriptions of her trailerhome, of events that got the trailerhome in its current state, of the ice house she hangs out in, the ugly Irish military guy who intrigues her with his foreign accent. That would be Randy's father.

I think it would be easy (and fun) to give a little more time to Mona.