12:12 a.m.Nervous guy, watches clock/watch, until he has the exact amount of time left in five minutes for this:
I got a hemorrhoid - or hemorrhoids . I don't know which it is; it isn't the kind of thing that's well researched. At least not by me. I'm sure there are people...researchers. I did know enough to know/read that I needed a suppository. An anal suppository.
(Nervous bit about going to store, buying Prep H - but not the loud-speaker-for-price gag.)
Opening foil is difficult. Suppository was broken in half. Reached down into my pajamas, underpants, sleepthong, dropped one half of the suppository. Decided to go ahead with the half I still had in my fingers. Tried to put it in, had a hard time finding the hole. Suppository half is blunt end. Push, the hole resists. Relax. No good. Lubricate? Don't know what, then lick a finger...
Dust off other half. Smooth-point end. "Oh, so that's how it's supposed to work." Like a tongue in a French kiss, the hole practically reached out for it. Ploop; in it went! Finally, the ordeal is over.
Tie up pajamas.
Feel sudden intense gas bubble in stomach. Long, cool fart ending with two buttery reject ploops.
(photo credit)
I got a hemorrhoid - or hemorrhoids . I don't know which it is; it isn't the kind of thing that's well researched. At least not by me. I'm sure there are people...researchers. I did know enough to know/read that I needed a suppository. An anal suppository.
(Nervous bit about going to store, buying Prep H - but not the loud-speaker-for-price gag.)
Opening foil is difficult. Suppository was broken in half. Reached down into my pajamas, underpants, sleepthong, dropped one half of the suppository. Decided to go ahead with the half I still had in my fingers. Tried to put it in, had a hard time finding the hole. Suppository half is blunt end. Push, the hole resists. Relax. No good. Lubricate? Don't know what, then lick a finger...
Dust off other half. Smooth-point end. "Oh, so that's how it's supposed to work." Like a tongue in a French kiss, the hole practically reached out for it. Ploop; in it went! Finally, the ordeal is over.
Tie up pajamas.
Feel sudden intense gas bubble in stomach. Long, cool fart ending with two buttery reject ploops.
(photo credit)
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