wednesday, october 20th (2004)

11:55 pm

I wonder if Dr. C has any clients who aren't smart beyond measure and talented and good? I'll have to ask him about that. Or is it some kind of trick to help us to get better? It's working; I guess that's what counts. I've never had a relationship like this with a therapist-type. And he's an actual shrink, and people say they're usually disinterested in the person and keen on filling out prescriptions. But that's not Dr. C. He said, "Worker {sic} harder than you think you need to, and save faster than you think you have to," and I've been doing that without even realizing I was taking his advice so strongly. But I guess I am. And I'm glad I am.

I do get drugs from Dr. C, but I'm pretty much in charge of my medication needs status. I started taking double the Wellbutrin and weaned myself off of the Lexapro altogether, a little at a time. I'm just off of them for three days or so, and in the last couple of days, my equilibrium has been off. I feel dizzy now and then, particularly when I turn corners or turn my head left and right quickly. But it's not always, and it's not forever. I think I remember feeling like this when I first got on Lexapro. I'm not sleepy all the time now, and I feel pretty darn good. I've even gone so far as to sing the extended version of "Throw Away the Dove" as Nell Carter in the Suburban. (Now, that's crazy!)