there are 168 hrs in a week

Here's the problem: Money work comes slower this time of year; there are other things that are going on in-house (in New York) that I can't (and frankly don't want to) be a part of. So I have to babysit the computer to see when work is available. It's like a game of sorts (though not a very entertaining one), trying to grab the work before another satellite or in-house support staffer gets it. Whatever... yawn.

But that's not the whole of the problem. I did get some writing done the other day, but I have no regular writing schedule. Yesterday, I was sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette thinking to myself, Why am I so bored? Why do I feel so overwhelmed? How can those two things be happening simultaneously? I feel like I'm not doing anything, but at the same time, I've got a lot on my plate. I'm in a performance this Friday with my friend M. She's reading letters that she's written to different companies -- complaint letters, mostly, and one letter of compliment -- and the outcomes of the issues she's had with them. She asked me to write and perform a theme song. Or she asked me if I wanted to be involved in some way, and my involvement became the theme song, "To Whom It May Concern":

To Whom It May Concern:
I'm the little guy who just got burned,
So I'm writing you this letter
In hopes that you can make it better.
I didn't get 100% satisfaction
In my most recent transaction,
That's why I'm writing you this letter,
In hopes that you will make it better.
What can you do for me?
Well, you can start with an apology;
And if you want to give me something for free,
That would go a long way.
I'm only saying this because it is true.
Why should I give my hard-earn money to you?
To win me back, what are you going to do?
Come on, I don't have all day...

And then M does her presentation, and I play the chords of the song in the background each time she reads a letter. And then I finish up the show with a reprise:

To Whom It May Concern:
There's a lesson here that could be learned.
That's why I've written you this letter.
Thanks in advance for making it better.
Sincerely, Me!

M sings the "Me" at the end. It's a cute show; it's part of the FronteraFest Short Fringe that they do every year here. So, I'm busy with that.

I'm also taking (or I should say retaking) the comedy improv class I took a year or so ago. It's free because I've already taken Level 1, and M is taking it with me. I felt kind of out of place the last time I took it. Having M there give me an instantaneous bit of confidence; having someone to bounce my feelings off of, and to hear that I am not the only one who is terrified is very helpful. I also think there are a lot more good people in this class than were in it the first time I took it, more varieties of people, ethnically (last time they were mostly 20-something straight white guys), so it just feels better.

I'm also trying to rewrite the first draft of my novel. I sat with it one day a week or so ago, took out the last thing I'd written, and read through the first couple of pages, marked out a word and put "as if" in its place. "As if," that's all I wrote that whole day! I thought that was kind of telling. A couple of days later, I got an idea and did some good writing, longhand, which I haven't transcribed yet. I feel like I need a chunk of time (or chunks) to work on the novel, but when I'm waiting for work to appear that I can grab, I have to be ready to jump on it -- which just happened, incidentally -- and I can't work with interruptions looming.

I think maybe when S goes back to school (Monday), I'll be able to better create a schedule I can live by. I tried creating a schedule but just came up with a list of things (WORK - 30 HRS/WK; WRITE - 10 HRS/WK; EXERCISE - 5 HRS/WK; SLEEP - 56 HRS/WK; PLAY - 20 HRS/WK) and no timeline for any of it.

Anyway, work now, figure life out later.

(photo from Wikipedia)