#11: yo' mama

I think the world of you; you're talented, a great listener, you have a great sense of humor. But sometimes you get under my skin.

Once upon a time you were saying something to somebody about something you'd just created and I made a comment about how you were managing to work it into every conversation you had. You turned to me and said, "Stop harshing my high... Seriously." Even though you were serious, I had to laugh. For one thing, using "street lang"; for another, being upset by that. But I understood that it might've come off as rude. So I backed off. Let it go. No biggie.

More recently, I asked you if you'd heard of a band I've just discovered and love and you said, "I can't stand them," and you went on for ten minutes about exactly what's wrong with them -- even though you know a couple of the people in the band -- which mushroomed into other bands you can't stand for the same or similar reasons, which in turn became about specific classic songs that you can't stand. I didn't know what to say. In my bed at the end of the night I figured out that the proper response whould've been: Don't harsh my high.

I wish I'd had the insight in the moment to be able to say "WTF, dude?" to which you would likely have apologized profusely and blamed your actions on the way your mother acts, that you got it from her, that it's something you're working on. But, come on, you've been working on it for in therapy for longer than I've known you and it has always been the overriding Issue in your life.

So I don't mean to get down your throat (or whatever the kids are saying on the streets) but I just needed to vent a little bit so that the next time a sitch like this comes up I'll be able to say, "Don't harsh my high! I love that band! I don't have a myriad of reasons to compete with why I think they're great to combat why you think they're not, but who gives a rat's ass? How about a little compash here!"

Or, I could take the stance that I learned from my mama, which would be to not say anything about it at all, to slowly, over time, start hating you, seethe about the way you are, not be able to have anything to do with you. And I don't want that, because I really do like you.