toxins

When I first moved into this house, I was worried about the comfort and safety of my cat. He died a month after I got here; obviously, he wasn't safe. Before he died, an old shingles scar that I had since I was six or seven years old, started to flare up. I showed it to C - an acupuncturist and Chinese herbologist - and he gave me an ointment for it, which worked pretty well, but didn't clear it up for good. He asked if there was any stress in my life that I recalled around the time that it flared up. Moving.

Soon after C and I started having our very intense relationship, I started getting blemishes on my back, and very itchy ringworms. As our talks intensified, I started having rashy flareups on the front of my torso as well. heat bumps eminating from my sternum or the place of my heart. By that point, C had told me he wouldn't treat me anymore (he doesn't treat "friends"). He referred me to a cheap acupuncture clinic here, and said he didn't want to give me any herbs either because he didn't want his prognosis to interfere with what I got from another acupuncturist.

I also visited a third acupuncturist/herbologist, a friend of C's but whom I met through my other close straight male friend, G. I went to see L after a conversation about getting herbs to help me with my fear of having a panic attack on the plane on my trip to Paris. She looked at the ringworms, shingles scar flareup and other spots on my back and, just like the previous two acupuncturists, told me a lot of toxins were coming out of my body. She gave me herbs and tinctures for different things, including for panic attacks, and the breakouts. She asked me if anything major had happened in my life when they outbreaks began. My relationship with C.

I started to think I would forever have the blemishes on my body. It was interesting to think that a scar from my childhood would suddenly flare up, and that all of the embarrasing blemishes I had all over my back during my teenage years were back. I started thinking about how that might relate to what I was going through. I was dealing with a lot of childhood issues with C, and dealing with a lot of new issues within my relationship with C.

In the last couple of days, the shingles scar has practically cleared up completely, and there is only one itchy bump left on my back. I haven't been taking herbs for any of this stuff since Paris. The only real change is that my (difficult) relationship with C has ended. And now I'm thinking about how some people say that relationships can be toxic.